Dream Bigger

Have you everplaced a time limit on your dreams or goals? Whether it was a childhood dream to pursue a certain career, or a goal to visit a country on a mission trip.  Maybe for you it was to get married by a certain age, have X amount of children, work so many years, travel so many places, start a business, or have a certain value of money in your bank account.  Whatever it was, you more than likely said you wanted to see it by a certain date or age.  If you are one of the fortunate ones, that goal or dream was accomplished exactly when you desired it to be.  For others, it may not have played out like that.

This is dedicated to the “others”.  For as long as I can remember I wanted to do modeling and acting.  I never wanted to be a huge star, only just local or commercial work. Instead of Vogue magazine, I was very realistic and understood that I was more like a T.J. Maxx catalog kind of girl.  I did my first pageant at 16 years old, and at age 18 did local work here and there.  When I moved to Orlando, FL the dream was still there.  God opened many doors and I did a few odd jobs here and there but nothing substantial or truly memorable.  It became overwhelmingly difficult to manage school, a full time job and try to continue to pursue this dream that requires you to be available at all times.  That dream quickly became my “Isaac” offering and I gave it back to God no less than 5 times saying, “Here, you can have it, I surrender, it’s yours, I don’t need it more than I need you.”  I was completely okay with giving it up, although I have to be honest and say it was always still in the back of my mind as a, “So, what was that all about?” sort of thought.

Fast-forward six years since I last pursued it, and it all came back to me again.  I had been petitioning God about many other things in my life, and here comes this concept again, “what about modeling?”  If this was really a desire that God placed on my heart years ago, then He can still cause it to happen. Without hesitation or reservation I contacted the agency I used to work with and met with them. Like a whirlwind, they said they wanted to work with me again, and I signed a two-year contract.   God’s timing is perfect.  I can prove it!  When I was younger in that industry I constantly had to fight because there were certain things as a woman of God that I would not do.  But when you are in that age bracket that’s all there is to do. Now that I am a little bit older (not too much I hope), the majority of the work available to me is what I always wanted to do all along!  GOD’S TIMING IS PERFECT.  Not only is He faithful to His promises, but also He is perfect in the timing of those promises. I never would have thought at my age that I would be thrust back into this world, but now I can look back and say that there was never a more perfect time.

If you find yourself struggling to see your promises, dreams, visions, or goals manifest, you must remind yourself to dream bigger.  If it hasn’t happened yet, it doesn’t mean it isn’t in the works.  We have to expand our minds and our faith to be able to receive the promises of God.  If you are frustrated, it’s because your dream is not big enough, it has to extend much further than you.  Now that I am walking this thing out by faith, part of me thinks I am way too old to keep dreaming, but thankfully it is always overcome by the part of me that knows it’s never too late.

The Other Pride

Are there really “types” of pride? I believe there are, because I have experienced it for my own self. I’ve come to put myself on blast yet again for the betterment of you, and here it goes.

Recently I’ve been in a slump. A funk. I mean feeling mighty low. The funny thing is, nothing major has happened. Nothing too drastic and dramatic. Matter of fact, I was recently promoted and have had some other surprise blessings come my way. This led me to wonder, “Why am I so distraught?”

For those of you that don’t know, I’m a single mama. I share custody with my daughter’s father. Every summer and winter school break, my big girl travels thousands of miles away to be with the other side of her family. This has been a routine for years. But recently, this send-off was the hardest yet.

While I’m feeling the separation anxiety, my girl is having the time of her life on summer vacay, as she should! Each time I got an update of all the fun she had, I grew more angry and sad. This is new, because usually I rejoice when she is blessed. But this time, I felt jealous that I wasn’t giving her all of the fun stuff.

Then a couple of weeks ago, a family member pointed out that I have grown a bit prideful. I listened. It was hard to hear, but I heard. A week later, a precious pal shared with me the possibility of my being a prideful person. She explained that it was not pride as in thinking I’m the “stuff dreams are made of”. This kind of pride would be the one that says, “I don’t need to reach out. I got this. I don’t want to look needy. I don’t want to ask for prayer. I just need to be strong”. Sound familiar?

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a handout hanging on the wall at work. It read: “Pride VS. Humility” BINGO! The light bulbs started turning on as I read it! I began to recall a few things I’d learned about pride; pride brings suffering and pain. Pride brings sin because it leads us off the beaten path, therefore we miss the mark. Lastly, pride surely is not related to faith.

Here are a couple of Biblical facts on pride: God hates it-as in it’s on His top list of stuff He can’t stand (Prov. 8:13), and He resists them that are full of it (James 4:6), pride-that is. YIKES!

I feel like I could go on and on about this subject, but I’ll leave you with some thoughts to ponder. Have you lost your joy? Have you been feeling jealous of others possessions and positions in life? Have you been pushing God and His people away? Could you have the “other” pride that doesn’t seem so obvious? The one that’s also called “self-reliance”?

May I suggest, repent of your prideful ways. Ask God to increase your faith in Him, because faith pleases Him. Let Him and His people love you in your broken times. He will not resist you when you are broken because the word says He’s near to the brokenhearted (ps 38:18).

By the way, the moment I realized my pride and repented of it, which started with a text to Trish of Ladies on Life…the pain and funk seemed to disappear. Well what do you know?

James 4:6 (NKJV) But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”