We are well into 2018 and here I am at the doorstep of 40. My kids are no longer babies and life is just rushing by. I’m starting to notice that I’m telling them some of the same things my parents told me when I was their age. Oh life.
Recently my husband and I had a long talk with our 15 year old. Lately (no matter the topic) the main message we end up giving our girl is the self-esteem talk. What makes this topic unique for the Christian parent is that it’s more than telling your kids to be confident in themselves. It’s guiding them to find their confidence in who they are in Christ and seeing themselves the way God intended them to be.
You see we can have ideas and plans for our daughter. We can envision things for her that would no doubt bring happy tears to our eyes. We can build her up with words about our hopes, dreams, and aspirations for her, but no matter what we think, it’s what God thinks that matters. It’s His will we want for her and our son.
Not to mention, I don’t want my kids to live to please me and end up picking professions I wanted them to pick, I want them to do what God has led them to do. I want to raise God pleasers, not people pleasers. When I say people pleasers I mean the “self-pleasing” inside of their sinful nature as well. This world and everything about it tells our kids to do what feels right. If you have an opinion you should immediately shout it out on the mountaintops, rally the troops, start a new hashtag, go stand in front of Congress and fight for what you think is right and hurry, do it NOW!
But not everything our kids think is right is right. If you don’t want to tell it, I will tell it. The message of confidently and publicly pleasing, expressing, and finding oneself by any means outside of God’s word can be dangerous and yet sometimes hard to recognize when it’s wrapped up in a cute Instagram handle or a cool hashtag. But it’s conforming to the world and we’re not of this world.
Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to silence and suppress our kids. What I am saying, or more importantly asking, is the same question my parents asked, and probably their parents asked them, but it’s the darn truth. It’s the food for thought question, “If everyone goes and jumps off a cliff, will you too?” Adding to that, just because everyone is “doing it” doesn’t mean you need to. What should our kids be doing then? How will they develop and find their true selves and the important self-esteem they need for this harsh world? That my friend is a huge part of the faith journey our kids embark upon with God. As we prayerfully guide them and as they start their faith walk with God, they will discover their worth, their true voice, and God’s will for their life.
Romans 12:2 (ESV) Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.