The Eraser by Kenika

Regret is a horrible, awful, time-consuming enemy to your future.  I live my life in a reflective state. Which means I am constantly overviewing past decisions, critiquing current decisions, or contemplating the implications of future decisions.  I stay in one of those three places at all times.  Because I am analytical in this sense, I often have to fight the urge to be overtaken with regret.  If I spend too much time in the past, I think of all the things I could have or should have done differently.  Then, I start listing all the things I would do over, the specific events or people that I wish I could erase.

I was looking at photos from a couple of years ago and I stumbled across a picture I posted of my aunt at her last birthday party before she passed away.  I immediately got emotional and it took me a minute to pinpoint exactly why.  I eventually came to terms with the fact that I had been cursing a situation I was in because I got so hurt.  I would often think or say, “I wish that never happened.”  I regretted it and I wanted to rid myself of its consequences and all parties involved.  The tricky part of it though, is that if this situation hadn’t taken place, I wouldn’t have been in attendance at that final birthday party.  I also wouldn’t have spent an entire week with my aunt laughing, catching up, and talking about the future for, what I now know, was the last time.  That time is so precious to me, and I will cherish it forever.

The decision I made seemed like a poor choice that brought me much suffering, but because of it, something absolutely priceless and beautiful came out of it.  Now I can wholeheartedly say that if only for those moments I had with her, I wouldn’t trade any of it.  I made the choice to stop beating myself up over it, and whatever your situation may be I encourage you to do the same.  Perhaps you were vulnerable and honest with the opening of your heart, and you got hurt as a result.  There is nothing wrong with that.  As easy as it would be to take a life-size eraser and go back and eliminate all of our mistakes, that would inevitably cause a ripple effect that would destroy every lesson, blessing, and unexpected miracle that came about as a result.  It’s hard to believe, but sometimes beauty is birthed out of tragedy.  Instead of erasing the past build from it, learn from it, and keep getting better and better as a result of it.

Photo Credit: ID-50492655-©-Wavebreakmedia-Ltd-Dreamstime.com-.jpg

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