From One Tear To An Entire Bucket by Kenika  




Photo Credit:Dreamstime


I suppose every woman has felt overwhelmed at various points in her life.  It would seem that stress, drama, and confusion come with the territory of life here on earth.  The one thing that is constant is change and studies have proven that change goes hand in hand with stress.  Obviously we have a choice whether or not we succumb to the pressure or persevere through it, but we will experience it all the same.

I was having a conversation recently with my Ladies On Life sisters, and I was reminded of times when I sang certain songs during worship and they had a cute little meaning to me.  Songs like, “This is the Air I Breathe (I’m desperate for You),”  and other very similar songs came to mind. I explained to them that, prior to my current season, I sang that song with a half raised hand and a gentle and calm, but sincere look on my face.  It’s a beautiful love song.  Just imagine me with a little smirk on my face, eyes closed, gently swaying and singing this song to God perhaps with one precious little tear rolling down only one cheek on my face.  Can you see it?

Now enter heartache, pain, confusion, lack of direction, depression, anxiety, you name it!  Now that same song with the same words that have been sung thousands of times over the years, comes to life in a completely different way.  Hard times take your worship to a whole other level.  The simplest words in a song can provide the very lifeline that you need.  In an episode of true brokenness I went from the cute little worshiper, who didn’t love God any less mind you, to the sobbing, nose full of snot, puffy faced, can’t see out of my eyes, gasping for air with both arms fully extended worshiper.  In that moment I literally became desperate for Him and lost without Him, instead of just singing about feeling that way.

I found myself in a place where I fully embraced the idea that I cannot live without Him.  Whether physically, literally, spiritually, figuratively, emotionally, it doesn’t matter, I need Him in every way. I am sure there have been times when I subconsciously felt as if there were some things that I could accomplish on my own.  Perhaps you feel that way sometimes too.  We say things like, “Well if God won’t do that, then I’ll do this,”  but the truth is if He doesn’t do it, you don’t want it to get done.  One thing is apparent, our need for Him.  He has everything under control. Be humble enough to let Him know you need Him and He’ll show you why.