Miss Independent by Trish



Self-sufficient, go-getter…a “boss”. These are all terms used to describe today’s modern woman. Anyone close to me knows that I carry within my heart great passion to see my fellow sisters not survive but THRIVE! God has given us incredible ability to be creative, productive and add value beyond compare!

We know that true favor shows up in a man’s life when a wife steps on the scene. (“He who finds a wife, finds a GOOD THING and obtains FAVOR from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22). God downloaded power into the DNA of a woman…power to rock a man’s world with some serious favor! That makes me shout just thinking about it!

From as far back as I can remember, my Mom instilled lessons in me to build strength. It was important to her that her baby girl knew how to stand on her own two feet and not rely or depend on people to care for her. She taught me to seek God for the direction of my life, to trust Him for every need and to never be afraid of the path ignored by most. She was strategic in her parenting in not allowing average to ever be acceptable. What was permissible for others was not for me. In doing so, it was her aim to raise an independent woman.

This independence fuels me to be better, think creatively and be innovative. While I have great admiration and appreciate for women who have lived up to this standard, I find it equally important to maintain the elegance of a lady while cultivating the strength necessary in being independent.

For me, I find that balance in the “God factor” in my life. As I look at the ultimate “Miss Independent” or “Boss Lady” found in the character of the Proverbs 31 woman I marvel at her power and her meekness. For example in Proverbs 31 verse 16 it says “She considers a field and buys it. From her profits she plants a vineyard” (NKV)

This is one bad woman.  She is married and yet she has not neglected her specific calling. I love that this verse says she “considers” field and buys it. She is not impulsive. This lady has the money in the bank she has what it takes to do what she desires but this woman takes the time to consider her purchase or investment rather.

Just because you have what it takes be it financially, intellectually or by position does not mean the wise woman should act upon impulse but rather take time to consider or count the cost. Now we know that this woman is married because this chapter references her husband. What I admire about this power-house of a woman is that while she has the skill, the money and intelligence to “run the world” so to speak,  she has maintained a  level-head and exercised meekness or bridled strength and we know that in all of her doings, she has kept one of the most greatest treasures of all….the respect of her husband. This text tells how he not only praises her but his heart safely trusts her (Proverbs 31: 11)…POWERFUL!

This example teaches us that it is possible to walk confidently in our role as women and embrace our calling without trampling those around us in the process, including the precious men God has entrusted to care for our hearts and appointed to be our covering.

Ladies, please allow me to share two important factors I’m learning about as I dig deeper on my personal journey in becoming a Godly woman.


1-      Submission

Of course it is going to be assumed that this is easy for me talk about since I’m not yet married but quite the contrary. I cannot tell you how many times I desire to express my “independence” as a single lady and in those moments I feel God whispering to my heart that while I’m not yet submitted to a man in a covenant, I am submitted to Him and I don’t have the luxury of doing whatever I feel like. Oh, I could if I really wanted but the Godly woman knows that true freedom is in the protection of boundaries.  In the verse quoted earlier, Proverbs 18:22, it says “He who finds a WIFE finds a good thing…” This implies that before I am married I must be marriage material.  So the rules of submission apply to the single as well as the married. There are decisions I have to think about as if I were already married. In doing so, I’m honoring God and putting practices in place now that will better equip me later. Miss Independent knows she can do anything but her willingness to submit teaches her how to go about it, if at all.


2-      Servant-hood

Ladies, please maintain a heart of service no matter how high on the ladder of success you climb. Nurturing a heart of service keeps you humble. While being a “boss” is great, being a leader is EFFECTIVE! I’d rather show people how to do something than to demand they do it. I once worked for a boss who was President and CEO of an organization. Working for him was more than an addition to my resume’ but rather a season of priceless mentorship. He would come to work and tell everyone that he worked for me. Now, we all knew that certainly wasn’t the case however, I learned valuable lessons from him that supported where that statement came from. You see each day he would either come in the office or call asking how he could help or serve me. He put responsibilities on me that made me come out of my comfort zone but never demanded something from me he knew I could not provide.

He never exercised his role as “boss” to lord over me but rather lead me. His heart of service showed me it was possible to be in position but never out of touch. I once heard my Pastor say “if you have tell people you’re the boss, you’re not really the boss”. He had an understanding that in serving those around you; you’re making an investment with a guaranteed return.


I have heard countless stories of how ladies have had to fight their way to the top and I commend those of you who did it the honest, hard-working way. Once you get there, please remember the purpose of the platform and choose to use your role to serve others.


Be blessed ladies, put on your heels and go change the world!


Photo Credit:  Dreamstime