As I went through this book with my husband on “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas, it caused me to think in a new way about my spouse. I learned that marriage comes down to being a God-centered spouse. Our love for each other should come out of our love and reverence for Christ. If we were to both live our life for Christ and act on that throughout our marriage then that would change the way our looked. I know for my marriage it has changed the way I have looked at my husband because I am looking at him through God’s eyes. This is an area I am still working on because I would be happy to do nice things for him when he treated me good. On the other hand, I would not want to do things for him if he treated me bad. This was selfish of me because I would do things only if it was reciprocated back to me and what pleases me, which I had become a selfish spouse. That was no way to live out my marriage. Then I would do the opposite and try too hard to do things to make him happy and put all my focus on what pleases him the result would be emptiness inside. I would fail every time because I am imperfect trying to please an imperfect person.
After I kept failing, I learned there is more to marriage than just trying to please my spouse but loving my spouse the way Christ loves them. That love is sacrificial where we give it freely no matter what they do to us in return. Love, I believe, is an action and requires us to work on it every day. If love were a feeling we would fall in and out of love everyday. This new way of thinking is the God-centered spouse approach. I realized God designed marriage to make us holy and to give Him all the glory. Romans 15: 5-7 describes it well “May God… help you live in complete harmony with each other-each with the attitude of Christ Jesus toward the other. Then all of you can join together with one voice, giving praise and glory to God.” In marriage you each have differences but understanding and celebrating them will unify you as a couple for the glory of God. As we look through God’s eyes, our spouse is God’s son and daughter and we are to show them respect and love with the attitude of Christ. Now, it causes me to rethink how I treat my husband and I need to ask myself the question am I treating God’s son with the attitude of Christ and love? Wow that is powerful because I am to look at my spouse through the lens of Christ.
Our main purpose in marriage is to please God and him alone. I truly believe marriage shapes us into the image of Christ. He desires to make us more holy through marriage.
So my question for you is does our marriage reflect Christ? I know at times our marriage doesn’t but I do know my husband and I are working and striving daily to have a Godly marriage that glorifies HIM. We can’t do this though without the Holy Spirit guiding us to be a God centered spouse. “….But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace” Romans 8:6. Being controlled by the Holy Spirit will lead you to being a God-centered spouse, which causes you to please God in your actions towards your spouse and in your marriage. My prayer is that we all have life and peace in our marriage and our marriages will be better as we align ourselves with God being the center in our marriage.
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